Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Fortunate = Flying
Hey ppl :) just came back from malaysia .
HMM after this trip i realise something, i am really fortunate....... after seeing all the people living on kay loong.(dunno how spell) living without a goal, day by day..... in the poorest condition.... i realise that i am very fortunate to have all these.... my good friends always there... no matter wat happen , they always be there.... i got this feeling that i really missed out the whole 2009 of my life, with so many things i need to face and think about..... i neglected a lot of people..... i was to stubborn..... i neglecte my work..... and i really neglect my dreams for things, i didnt wanna to face..... now ... regrets..... i am truthly sorry to really some people(not mentioning here) but deep inside you , you will noe... and i really want to thank those boys at malaysia who opened up my eyes to the actual world... the place where i feel pain and i will get tired of working in....
I was really inspire when i ask them this question and they replied this
Melvyn: Hmmm, have you all think of what to do when you all are grown up or in a few years, like what is your goal.
Malaysia boys: No , when dun have goals.....(Long pause) but i want to grow up to have one... no matter how long it takes... to fly....
And i feel a sense of warmth..... what is my dreams? tad is the answer:)
HMM after this trip i realise something, i am really fortunate....... after seeing all the people living on kay loong.(dunno how spell) living without a goal, day by day..... in the poorest condition.... i realise that i am very fortunate to have all these.... my good friends always there... no matter wat happen , they always be there.... i got this feeling that i really missed out the whole 2009 of my life, with so many things i need to face and think about..... i neglected a lot of people..... i was to stubborn..... i neglecte my work..... and i really neglect my dreams for things, i didnt wanna to face..... now ... regrets..... i am truthly sorry to really some people(not mentioning here) but deep inside you , you will noe... and i really want to thank those boys at malaysia who opened up my eyes to the actual world... the place where i feel pain and i will get tired of working in....
I was really inspire when i ask them this question and they replied this
Melvyn: Hmmm, have you all think of what to do when you all are grown up or in a few years, like what is your goal.
Malaysia boys: No , when dun have goals.....(Long pause) but i want to grow up to have one... no matter how long it takes... to fly....
And i feel a sense of warmth..... what is my dreams? tad is the answer:)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Dead.....
Hey to those who still got come here...... i remember saying i will delete this blog:) but i just cant delete this blog, maybe is just too much happy memory to me, i was ready to delete , but as my curoser move to the button , i dindt press it, .... cause i realise tad this is the only glimpse of light i can see thru the past, so this is like a picture to me..... past is always beautiful.... the kind of time where you just get to noe tad there is some one there.... but things changes ... some things can seems to stay as u wan... maybe is how u change it but, u didnt noe.... if i could make myself turn back to how i was... i will go for it.. but i realise, this is wat u have done, u cant change it , only facing it and solve it.... wat u have lied u have.... some things u just have to brush it....
YEA indeed, i have faith, in him... however, there is jsut too much confusing things going on.... for all i noe, i missed it, if i could turn back time, i think i would cherish eery second of it, and not causing this again... because the thought of losing 9sss is unbearable..... is far too important, changing take time they say... it take courage and support i can say... i failed.... i falied as anything, in fact i failed in everything........ tad leaves sucide? i duuno tad is wat i mean by confuse.... IMY it is just too Inevitable
YEA indeed, i have faith, in him... however, there is jsut too much confusing things going on.... for all i noe, i missed it, if i could turn back time, i think i would cherish eery second of it, and not causing this again... because the thought of losing 9sss is unbearable..... is far too important, changing take time they say... it take courage and support i can say... i failed.... i falied as anything, in fact i failed in everything........ tad leaves sucide? i duuno tad is wat i mean by confuse.... IMY it is just too Inevitable
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The last post
Hey ppl, guess you noe my blog dead :) but is ok , this will be he last post :), i will remove my blog W.E.F. 19.4.09:).
This post is a poem i have change it to suit my feeling :) enjoy.
This post is a poem i have change it to suit my feeling :) enjoy.
I grieve, and dare not show my discontent;
I love, and yet am forced to seem to run;
I do , yet dare not say i ever meant;
I seem stark mute, but inwardly do prate.
I am , and not; I Freeze and yet am burned,
Since from myself another self i turned.
My care is like my shadow in the sun---
Follows me flying, flies when i pursue it,
Stands, and lies by me, doth what i have done;
His too - familiar care doth make me rule it.
No meansi find to rid him from my chest,
Till the end of things it be supprest.
Some gentler passion slide into my mind,
For i am soft, and made of melting snow;
Or be more cruel, love, and so be kind.
Let me float or sink, be high or low;
Or let me live with some more sweet content,
Or let me DIE, and so forget what friendship ever meant.
That the last post, hope you enjoy it :) sry :)
I love, and yet am forced to seem to run;
I do , yet dare not say i ever meant;
I seem stark mute, but inwardly do prate.
I am , and not; I Freeze and yet am burned,
Since from myself another self i turned.
My care is like my shadow in the sun---
Follows me flying, flies when i pursue it,
Stands, and lies by me, doth what i have done;
His too - familiar care doth make me rule it.
No meansi find to rid him from my chest,
Till the end of things it be supprest.
Some gentler passion slide into my mind,
For i am soft, and made of melting snow;
Or be more cruel, love, and so be kind.
Let me float or sink, be high or low;
Or let me live with some more sweet content,
Or let me DIE, and so forget what friendship ever meant.
That the last post, hope you enjoy it :) sry :)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
A friend in need is a friend indeed
Hi ppl, long time no blog le rite, haha cause got reason, :) any way , i blog cause back by popular demand, hahah (Thick skin sio) :), yep any way sry some of the prefect who wanted to change duty but i really got no time to go and see aval slot for you all, and i noe some of u all sae dun want this dun want dat, hmm give me some time i need catch up my studies 1st ok and this fri got PTM (sec 1) so i see u all there, time for socializing hahah :). any way, i need time to adapt to sec 4 too, need to go for SYF (Harmonica band ) too Aim Gold with honers if that the correct spelling , haha
Any way HELLO to the new sec 1 in the band
Good luck 4 those going SYF too :)
Back to my life ba, ppl are changing too, dunno why, after i EMo i realise a lot of thing has happen, i will try my best to hep u all ok. and dun worry ------Ahem...... i will alwyas be the one there for you, no matter wat ok :) must have confidence ok :)
And to some ppl, some thing are not to be judge by one side only, the other party will get hurt too, there is a reason for a person to do that, scrafice is sometimes, needed. A good friend is the one who bail you out of jail. A true friend is the one who stays in it with u.
i willbe the true friend ok, no matter wat happens, there is still me. and too all my firends i will always be a part of you :) you know who to call.
Please understnad some of my action, there is a reason behind it, that i wont harm any one. i realsie a good friend is not you to find, it finds you. when you are indeed a friend to the friend in need :)
YHHB and YHPB JYJY all the wayyy
Any way HELLO to the new sec 1 in the band
Good luck 4 those going SYF too :)
Back to my life ba, ppl are changing too, dunno why, after i EMo i realise a lot of thing has happen, i will try my best to hep u all ok. and dun worry ------Ahem...... i will alwyas be the one there for you, no matter wat ok :) must have confidence ok :)
And to some ppl, some thing are not to be judge by one side only, the other party will get hurt too, there is a reason for a person to do that, scrafice is sometimes, needed. A good friend is the one who bail you out of jail. A true friend is the one who stays in it with u.
i willbe the true friend ok, no matter wat happens, there is still me. and too all my firends i will always be a part of you :) you know who to call.
Please understnad some of my action, there is a reason behind it, that i wont harm any one. i realsie a good friend is not you to find, it finds you. when you are indeed a friend to the friend in need :)
YHHB and YHPB JYJY all the wayyy
Monday, January 19, 2009
New found me
Hi ppl, sry i didnt change blogskin again, cause this few days very lazy to turn on computer heheh:P .
Hmm any way , today was late for meeting hai, i break the trust again, last few weeks still never late now like hai, but anyway i disappoint ppl again......
Any way today cheng Du ppl came again, must interact with them after recess, hai, skip lesson again, i feel very guilty cause once miss i cant catch up anymore, and now is not like then, cause ppl change..... and today PS hiang teck again, oh so sry, ps you 3 times le, sry ....
But went for high acheivers trng again, this time i saw coach isaac, sabby and shawn :).
Coach shawn was taking sec 3 4 D.I.S.C. sabby was taking the sec 2 for peer mediation, and isaac took us the sec 4 for The K&P framework and the topic was, Encourage the heart.
I really did learn a lot as i find out tad all this while i was very hopless, so sucky, i didnt understad ppl and keep disappointing ppl, i realise tad i keep mixing up stuff together to the wrong details,
But now since i understand the mistake now, i will find the solution, to set a goals for myself and keep thing seprate.
Mdm salina was right after all this stress, from peers, studies, work , prefect band, i was about to explode as no one was there for me to encourage me , even the person i hope to have didnt not.
I realsise tad i really am stupid to think i can relay on ppl, in the end , the one who suffers is me.
The pain i had, was not shared to anyone, no one came , no one ask.
But however, i am self dependant now, i noe i need to stand up after my fall, after wat coach isaac have told me, i realise tad i can change the mindset of myself , the useless one, to understand wat all my prefect think and help them find wat leadership means, althought me myslf is not a good leader, but i can teach them from my EXp , and the most i want to chage is the mind set of ppl in YHHB, i want the ppl in yhhb noe the importance of goals and mindset and how powerful can this become, Yhhb if to believe our goals and mindset, SYF 2009 gold with honers is OURS,
To all obstacles, ppl who try to stop me. stress and friendship,
Here i come .
Hmm any way , today was late for meeting hai, i break the trust again, last few weeks still never late now like hai, but anyway i disappoint ppl again......
Any way today cheng Du ppl came again, must interact with them after recess, hai, skip lesson again, i feel very guilty cause once miss i cant catch up anymore, and now is not like then, cause ppl change..... and today PS hiang teck again, oh so sry, ps you 3 times le, sry ....
But went for high acheivers trng again, this time i saw coach isaac, sabby and shawn :).
Coach shawn was taking sec 3 4 D.I.S.C. sabby was taking the sec 2 for peer mediation, and isaac took us the sec 4 for The K&P framework and the topic was, Encourage the heart.
I really did learn a lot as i find out tad all this while i was very hopless, so sucky, i didnt understad ppl and keep disappointing ppl, i realise tad i keep mixing up stuff together to the wrong details,
But now since i understand the mistake now, i will find the solution, to set a goals for myself and keep thing seprate.
Mdm salina was right after all this stress, from peers, studies, work , prefect band, i was about to explode as no one was there for me to encourage me , even the person i hope to have didnt not.
I realsise tad i really am stupid to think i can relay on ppl, in the end , the one who suffers is me.
The pain i had, was not shared to anyone, no one came , no one ask.
But however, i am self dependant now, i noe i need to stand up after my fall, after wat coach isaac have told me, i realise tad i can change the mindset of myself , the useless one, to understand wat all my prefect think and help them find wat leadership means, althought me myslf is not a good leader, but i can teach them from my EXp , and the most i want to chage is the mind set of ppl in YHHB, i want the ppl in yhhb noe the importance of goals and mindset and how powerful can this become, Yhhb if to believe our goals and mindset, SYF 2009 gold with honers is OURS,
To all obstacles, ppl who try to stop me. stress and friendship,
Here i come .
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Glass walls
Guess ppl near me, are wondering wats wrong with me since the start of 2009, seriously i dun noe, i would really like to know the answer myself.
- I got info wrong
- Do wrong things
- Cant study well
- drifting away
- hear wrong things
- say wrong things
- Think wrong things
- feel wrong things
- say wrong things
- plan wrong things
- assume wrong things
- play wrong things
- learn wrong things
I seriously dun know wat the hell is wrong with me, in school , i did so many things wrong, day by day, min by min, it nevers stops
why ppl ask, well i tell you I DUN EVEN KNOW WAT IS REALLY HAPPENING,
everyday i disappointed ppl, even if dun blame me, but i still kepp disappointing, till i ..i. .. , i dun know how much i owe le, and i am damm irresponsible, for the case of the jacket,
Even when ask weather the student can move in the hal, i even check with TIC but when comes , the info change again, and see me as i got wrong things again, BUT I DID MAKE SURE , but as i always say i will be still in the wrong.
DO YOU KNOW HOW FASTURATING IS TAD, no i may be smilling out side, i am bleeding painfully,PAINFULLY inside ,the same pain i receive on 2007, the pain tad i thought will never come again, but it does. i do not want to open it as i will never want it to seprate, which i thought will last forever, but by the looks of it now, the pig is closer, now, for i may be usless, i understand the importances of but i hope it will be the best for, however the ones left will never feel good.
The box i lift is getting heavier, the helping are drifting. even the ones i loved and cherish.
the pain will stay , in the hole tad can never open, the disappointment tad expose is too much to seek for forgiveness toak9. sry doesnt seems to be, i agree.
Thepain will never stop till 9k forgives the bads.
apologys are squared, no sincerity came, heart bleeding tad cause this pain.
were said to be tied , feeling is different now, a senior idoit and a catchy drama, were said to be foever.
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